Missi's Musings
The Boss Boundaries
In order to maintain a healthy, professional work environment, it is essential for salon owners and managers to set boundaries in their relationships with staff members.

By Missi Salzberg

The crew at my shop is one, big, happy family, and like all families, we can be somewhat dysfunctional. The good news is that as time has passed and lessons have been learned, the dysfunction becomes less and less. Finding the healthiest, most productive balance between management/owner and staff is not an easy task, but we can set boundaries based on respect and professionalism–and even based on love for our fellow workers–which will, in the end, keep the workplace a healthier, less stressful environment.

Let me begin by telling you about a few of the mistakes that my dear, sweet mama, my late father and I have made over the years; there have been many (I mean using-every-finger-and-toe-to-count many), but I’ll just highlight a couple of the doozies. There was the time that a groomer ran into some financial difficulties and a loan was made. The deal was that a certain amount would be paid off each week to bring the balance back to zero, but each and every week there was a new excuse for why the payment couldn’t be made. Resentment began to grow between both sides, and ultimately this employee left, loan unpaid, and it all ended very badly. Remember, you are a boss, not a bank.

Another example involved a groomer that led a very colorful life–so colorful, in fact, that it often interfered with her getting to work on time and doing the quality work that my parents knew she was capable of doing. But her life was incredibly interesting, and the gossip and stories around the grooming tables was great fun. The fact of the matter was, however, that her personal life and the colorful details of her private affairs were not appropriate for the workplace, and there was tension when she was late or tired, or when she would call in sick even though everyone knew she was missing a day of work for other reasons. Remember, you’re running a business, not a gossip magazine.

Before I break these situations down, let me just mention an industry statistic and make a personal observation. First, the stat: Over 80 percent of professional groomers are women. Now, for the “sistahs” out there, let me just say that we, as women, tend to be nurturers and caretakers, and we want to “save” all of the people and pets around us, don’t we? Every day, I catch myself wanting to do or say something to shore someone up or fix someone’s problems. Trust me, I have enough problems of my own, but I am someone who likes to help others. Whether or not I am really helping will take years of therapy to unravel, but I’m guessing that I’m not. Mostly, I am keeping someone from handling their own life challenges and just complicating my own.

My observation is that many of us try to run our businesses like we run our families, and I’m not sure that’s always the best model. My employees should certainly have different expectations of me than they would members of their own family. I will never vent to my bather the way I will to my mom after an incredibly tough day–it is simply not his problem. I have read, in many articles, that you should treat your employees like family. But I already have a family, and one is plenty, don’t you agree?

Spoiling Workplace Dynamics
Boundaries are essential to overall health and productivity of a salon, or any business. Let me use the two stories from earlier in the article to make my point. From the start, the case in which a loan of money was made was an accident waiting to happen. Honestly, I’ve made loans to employees since this bad experience, and some have ended well, while others have ended poorly. Lending someone money–whether they’re employees, family members or friends–can be tricky. It is probably the root of more squabbling, fall-outs and bad endings than even love gone wrong.

In the workplace, it is particularly tricky because there is a built-in dynamic to any employer/employee relationship that involves power and money. I know, for instance, many business owners who people assume are incredibly wealthy, including their employees, but as an owner of a business myself, I know the bottom line and the taxes and insurance and every other pipeline by which the money flows out. Running a business costs a lot of money and a lot of one’s ‘life’ time.

This is where the bad dynamics came into play in our experience. The employee told me before she left that she didn’t understand why my parents needed the money back so quickly. “They’re not exactly hurting,” she said. I made two points to her. First, she had absolutely no right to assume anything about my parents’ financial situation; and second, the fact is that an agreement was made between two parties regarding the repayment of the loan, and she was balking.

Here’s the deal though. She was now in a place of power, whether she realized it or not, because it was vital to our business that she show up and do her job each day, and whether she would show up after this discussion (she did stay a little longer, but the relationship was never the same) was in question. There was now tension in the workplace that didn’t go away. The dynamic created by setting up business agreements outside of the parameters of one’s actual business is just bad business. There are banks, families and friends to lend people money, not bosses.

Establishing Roles
In the case of the wild party girl employee, while she told great stories and made everyone laugh for a while, it began to affect her work and her attitude. As a boss, I don’t need to know the details of her personal life, but by listening to her stories and laughing along, I created a situation where I was uncomfortable when it came time to pull the reigns in on her performance and contribution to the store.

I had laughed at her stories, had conversations about the wild things she was doing, but when it adversely affected my business, I had to lay the law down. Because I had engaged her on that personal level, when it came time for me to reprimand her, she took it personally and felt like she was being judged by a friend. I was not clear on my role and we had become buddies. Constructive criticism is much easier to hear from a boss with clear boundaries than a buddy that you hang with at work.

Boundaries don’t mean being a distant, uninvolved, stiff employer, however. You can be a great boss that is supportive, kind and loving and still have clear boundaries. My staff knows my heart, and I will always be there to support them in a healthy way if they are hurting. They have stepped in for me during tough times, and there is a lot of love and admiration amongst my staff. It is a caring, warm environment that we share day to day.

Trust is key to all relationship dynamics, and it is incredibly important in the workplace. Your employees need to trust that you are in charge and capable, that you will follow through on your word and that you will treat them with respect and gratitude in their jobs. This is easier to achieve with clear boundaries than with diluted ones.

Running a business is hard work. It is challenging, exhausting and complicated. By keeping your boundaries with your employees clear and keeping a little distance from the ultra-personal, you will have more clarity to make the calls you need to make as a boss. GB

Born into the grooming world, Missi Salzberg has been ‘in the business’ since the age of four. She owns The Village Groomer and Pet Supply with her mother, Kathy Salzberg, has led workshops on many subjects, has been a featured speaker at Groom Expo, The NEPGP, Tufts, and teaches for PetEdge. She was twice nominated for The Cardinal Crystal Achievement Award and hosts the Cardinal Crystal Achievement Awards each year at Intergroom. Missi also owns Bad Dog Realty, a real estate management company, and Bad Dog Productions, providing promotional resources and consulting to small business owners. Her true mission in this industry is to see groomers and pet care professionals succeed, financially and personally.